While the holiday season can be filled with twinkling lights, family gatherings and memory-making fun, for many, this time of year is just as likely to bring struggles with mental health.
Aleshia Mardjetko, a social worker with AnMed Behavioral Health, said there is zero shame in recognizing the need for help and asking for it. In fact, doing so is admirable.
“Society sets an unrealistic expectation for how we're supposed to feel this time of year, and I think that contributes to a level of shame if you are struggling with your mental health and aren't in such a happy state of mind,” she said.
The season can feel chaotic, and depression can feel magnified.
“Add that you're already struggling with your mental health, and then the shame that comes in — ‘Why can everyone else do this and I just can't get it together and do these things right?’” Mardjetko said. “We can be our own worst critic, which can make us feel worse. Our own negative thinking can contribute to worsening our depression.”
Mental health care matters. Here’s where to start:
- Pay attention to your feelings, and know when and how to seek help.
- Practice self-care.
- Develop a plan for when you are feeling stressed, sad or lonely.
- Connect with community.
- Avoid alcohol and drugs.
- Set healthy boundaries.
Here are warning signs to know and what to do
Relationships can be complicated, finances can be strained and feelings can be magnified during the holidays. Warning signs for worsening mental health can be different for everyone, but Mardjetko said changes in mood are important to notice.
“Increased anxiety symptoms, increased negative thoughts or negative self-talk can be warning signs,” she said. “Wanting to isolate more is a good indication that maybe it's time to seek some help or to lean into some healthy coping skills.”
Talk of self-harm should be taken seriously, though friends and family are sometimes hesitant to question someone who is struggling, sometimes out of fear that they will cause someone to consider suicidal thoughts.
“The opposite is true, because if somebody's thinking about it, they're thinking about it either way,” Mardjetko said. “You're not going to put the idea in somebody's head. It actually will allow open communication for that other person to feel like maybe you’re a safe person to open up to regarding those thoughts that they’re having.”
A mental health emergency requires action. Call 988 at any time — 24 hours a day — for support.
If you or a loved one is experiencing a crisis, call 911 or visit the emergency department at AnMed Medical Center. A Crisis Assessment and Treatment Team is ready to assist.
Those in need of non-emergency referrals can contact the intensive outpatient program at AnMed Behavioral Health at 864-512-1862 for assessment.
Mardjetko also recommends contacting your health insurance provider for a list of covered providers or searching Psychology Today for traditional outpatient care.
How to practice self-care during the holidays
Self-care starts with being aware of your feelings and recognizing your own warning signs, including isolating behaviors or unhealthy coping practices like increased substance use. Pay attention to your feelings, and have a plan for who to call in a crisis.
“Do I have a trusted friend or family member? Are there coping skills that might be helpful for distraction? Do you like to walk? Do you like to read or go to the gym? Using relaxation strategies, like deep breathing or meditation practices, watching a favorite comedy movie — things like that can be really helpful to distract, but it's good to have a game plan of what you can do to manage your symptoms if you start to struggle,” Mardjetko said.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shower or brushing your teeth, especially for those struggling with depression. Mardjetko said the mind and body are connected, so healthy steps such as balanced eating, getting adequate sleep and physical movement are all important.
“All of those things that we think of for physical health are also going to directly impact our mental health in a positive manner,” she said. “Alcohol is a big part of family gatherings for some folks, but if you're already struggling with your mental health, that can absolutely worsen symptoms. Part of self-care is avoiding those kinds of substances. It’s spending time doing things you enjoy despite the hustle and bustle of the holidays. It’s financial self-care and acknowledging it’s OK not to buy the biggest, most expensive gift for somebody. It’s OK to err on the side of meeting yourself where you are financially and doing more homemade gifts or finding things that are within your budget.”
Connect in a healthy way
Mardjetko said connecting with community is especially important.
“Spend time around people you enjoy and that you want to be around,” she said. “That could look like local support groups. Maybe it’s your faith community, if that’s important to you. Spend time with friends that uplift your mood. And also know when to seek professional help. If things start to worsen — if you're trying these healthy coping skills and nothing seems to be making an impact — it’s probably time to reach out for professional help.”
Set boundaries that protect your mental health. Mardjetko said the season brings expectations and many obligations, so finding balance is critical.
“We try to say yes to many things, and we don’t want to err on isolating,” she said. “If we want to do nothing and hibernate, sometimes that’s our depression speaking. But it’s OK if we’re feeling overwhelmed to not say yes to everything, because the holidays can be extremely overstimulating. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do.”
